Tuesday, July 17, 2012

The Most Fundamental Thing I Learned from a Montessori Mentor Teacher: Conflict Resolution

As a brand new Montessori teacher, entering the Montessori classroom for the first time felt like entering a foreign country. What was this language they were speaking? The teachers were all so quiet and soft-spoken. They used their own language to talk to students. They settled student disputes in ways that left everyone smiling at the end. It was so different from what I had experienced as a teacher in the conventional education system.

boy and girl smiling at each other fundamental thing learned from NAMC montessori mentor resolving student conflict
Montessori mentor teachers understand the value
in letting students resolve their own conflicts

My upper elementary team leader, who was my mentor, gave me Jane Nelsen’s book, Positive Discipline in the Classroom. My immediate reaction upon reading it was “Oh, this will never work! I can’t talk to children like this!” Nevertheless, as I observed my mentor with students, I began to realize that it did work.
I reread Dr. Nelsen’s book and started to apply what I learned from reading and from observing my mentor.

Fundamental Montessori Lessons: Working Around Student Conflict

Being kind and respectful to children is something I have always believed in — that part came naturally. The difficult part was what to do in times of conflict, and more specifically, in times of conflict between students. My mentor taught me that the Montessori teacher plays a much smaller role in conflict resolution than in a conventional setting. She taught me about the role of the Montessori Peace Table and how to be a mediator, not a decision maker. Most importantly, she taught me how to ask guiding questions that really got students to talk about what was at the heart of the matter.

At first, I was discouraged. This was hard stuff! How could I talk to students in the middle of a heated discussion without becoming personally involved? How could I keep calm myself? I was terrified that I would say the wrong thing, imposing my will rather than letting the children come to a resolution.

My mentor was great. She made herself available to me any time I needed her. That first year, I had a particularly challenging class that had a real class bully who deliberately went out of her way to hurt others. I think my mentor spent as much time as I did helping my students resolve their problems. At first, I sat back and watched my mentor guide the discussion. Gradually, I gained more confidence and as she helped me through the mediation process, I was able to take on the role of helping students find peaceful solutions.

I do not like student conflict, but I know that conflict is an important part of the students’ learning to get along with others. When I find myself in situations in which I am called upon to mediate, at times I still find myself taking a deep breath and thinking, “Now, what would my mentor do?”
As much as possible, NAMC’s web blog reflects the Montessori curriculum as provided in its teacher training programs. We realize and respect that Montessori schools are unique and may vary their schedules and offerings in accordance with the needs of their individual communities. We hope that our readers will find our articles useful and inspiring as a contribution to the global Montessori community.
© North American Montessori Center - originally posted in its entirety at Montessori Teacher Training on Tuesday, July 17, 2012.

2 comments:

  1. www.montessoritraining.blogJuly 17, 2012 at 2:39 PM

    My personal experience was so similar, my mentor bring me a lot of books, information of the Montessori method and how to put it in practice with my baby at home. As much as possible my mentor bring me an ample time to introduces some presentation step by step in order and in a peaceful environment. She discuss with me their thoughts about the use of spaces and areas in the classroom. She was so patient and she made herself available to me any time I needed her.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nylvia said...
    My personal experience was so similar, my mentor bring me a lot of books, information of the Montessori method and how to put it in practice with my baby at home. As much as possible my mentor bring me an ample time to introduces some presentation step by step in order and in a peaceful environment. She discuss with me their thoughts about the use of spaces and areas in the classroom. She was so patient and she made herself available to me any time I needed her.

    ReplyDelete

Have questions or comments? Let us know what you thought about this article!

We appreciate feedback and love to discuss with our readers further.

NAMC Blog Inquiries Contact Form

Name

Email *

Message *

Search the NAMC Montessori Teacher Training Blog

Are you interested in reading back through NAMC's blog articles from years gone by, or for more information on a specific topic?

Browse a select list of our most popular categories below; by clicking on one, you will see every article posted under that topic since 2007. You may also use the lower archive menu to select a year and month, displaying all blog posts in the chosen time frame.

If you are seeking a range of information on a certain topic or idea, try this search box for site-wide keyword results.

Choose From a List of Popular Article Topics

NAMC Montessori Series

Montessori Philosophy and Methodology

Montessori Classroom Management

The School Year

Montessori Materials

Montessori Curriculum

Montessori Infant/Toddler (0–3) Program

Montessori Early Childhood (3–6) Program

Montessori Elementary (6–12) Programs

What is Montessori?

Search Archives for Montessori Blog Posts by Date


Thank you to the NAMC Montessori community!

NAMC has been providing quality Montessori distance training and curriculum development to Montessorians around the globe for more than 25 years. Since beginning in 1996, we have grown to build a fantastic community of students, graduates, and schools in over 160 countries. We are grateful for your continued support and dedication to furthering the reach and success of the Montessori method.